Saying Yes to an Exchange Year

Jackie

This month will end a nine-month exchange year for Kaja Marfurt from Switzerland and Chiara Carusone from Italy, who both participated in the International Student Exchange for the 2022-2023 school year at Hondo High School. Kaja took residence with my family—my husband, my 5-year-old son and 3-year-old daughter—and Chiara lived with Katie Haby, her husband and 9- and 6- year-old daughters.

Here’s how two co-op employees—Katie Haby and I—came to each host an international student in our homes in Hondo, Texas.

Katie

Jackie and I have worked closely together for more than eight years. Lots of time spent together between meetings and travel time in our service area opened the door for great brainstorming opportunities and extraordinary ideas; well, at least most were extraordinary. In one of those conversations the topic of an exchange student came up. Going to high school in Uvalde, we always had exchange students, and I loved making friends with them, learning about their cultures and teaching them about ours. I always thought it would be neat to host one and mentioned that to Jackie at some point, but not in total seriousness. Or so I thought. One day Jackie sent me a screenshot of a post from a Facebook group that included details from the agency looking for families to host a student from abroad. This post was legitimate—looking for families in the Hondo area to open their homes and their hearts to young kids wanting to study in America.

The next parts seemed to happen so quickly. I asked my husband if he would ever consider hosting; he said he would consider it. To me, that was a yes, so I sent off paperwork—much to his surprise—and background checks, interviews with references and working with ISE to find a student for our family followed.

Jackie

Katie said yes first. But then the Facebook posts kept coming. “We have several loving students who are waiting on an amazing host family to say yes.” Shortly after the Haby family matched with Chiara, my family also agreed to start the process of hosting a student. It made the most sense—if we were going to seriously consider it, it would probably be better to do so at the same time as the Habys so we could help each other out.

There is a whole pool of students from all over the world wanting to experience American life. Through this particular agency, the students don’t pick the location. They get selected by a family. We looked through profiles of many students who we thought might fit our family. Kaja’s profile stuck out because she has a sibling, similar religious beliefs and was interested in being a kindergarten teacher. Perfect for two little kids looking for a “sister.”

Katie

Once we were matched with Chiara, we were able to video chat during the months and weeks leading to her arrival. We were able to virtually “meet” her entire family and visit with them through Chiara, her Dad and her sister, who all spoke English and translated to her Mom and brother. I could tell my little girls were getting excited when we had the time to video chat. The last few weeks of summer were spent preparing a room for Chiara. That’s one of the requirements for families to provide—a bed and a place to study. But we also wanted to provide her a space she could make her own. So we stole an idea from Jackie and had Chiara’s family secretly send us photographs of friends and family back in Italy that we could print and frame for her.

Jackie

I remember driving to the airport the night that Kaja flew in. Andrew and I actually waited at the wrong escalator for a while because we’d never flown or picked up anyone who’s flown internationally. Thankfully, the San Antonio airport isn’t too large to run through and we realized our error in time to meet Kaja as she came riding down those disappearing stairs. It was almost movielike, waiting with our “Welcome” sign so Kaja would know to find us. We had only video-chatted a couple of times before her arrival, and after a long day of traveling, I was worried she would be shy and quiet, and possibly not recognize us. Flying as an adult is already stressful—I couldn’t imagine making a 24-hour international trip by myself at 16. But she had made it. And we were ready. Off we were to start our journey as an exchange family–but not without a quick stop first at Whataburger.

Katie

Whataburger must be the first stop for many exchange students, because it is also the first place we took Chiara. We could tell she was tired, also, but we woke her up the first morning, after just a few hours of sleep, to go watch some Hondo Owl volleyball since she intended to try out for the team.

The agency stresses that when the students come to live with you, you are expected to treat them as family. They are not guests in your home. They should help with regular chores and participate in family activities. That was hard for us at first, because we recognized that she was in a new spot and dealing with so much change. But being placed with our families also meant lots of participation in many other things. My little girls wasted no time in ensuring Chiara was “one of the family.” That meant participating in family game night, including trying to learn some Italian card games, unloading the dishwasher, and racing from sports event to sports event.

Jackie

It was fun being able to support Chiara and Kaja in their high school journey. Some things we find normal in the U.S., and especially in Texas, aren’t so normal in Europe—pep rallies, Friday night lights, homecoming and mums, school buses, prom, and the list goes on. It seems, based on their input, everything really is bigger in Texas: bigger stores, roads, cars. Chiara played volleyball and soccer, was a basketball manager and ran track. Kaja played soccer, was in the drama club and became a state-qualifier for Business Professionals of America.

And while many things can come as a culture shock when hosting an exchange student, many high school girl tendencies are global. If you’re a parent of a teenage girl, you probably know what I’m talking about: friendships, boys, messy rooms, clothes and occasional tears.

Katie

It’s crazy to think while telling this story that this journey is almost over. In just nine short months, we went from being complete strangers and having lots of nerves to having additional family members that we include in family jokes. But we are going to say goodbye to very soon. There are so many sweet memories made this year with Chiara in our home: exposing her to chasing wild hogs and helping vaccinate cows, dragging her on early morning adventures like a hike up Enchanted Rock, getting a puppy at Christmas, which was an experience she would never have in Italy because of her mom’s aversion to dogs, and more. Turns out teenage girls globally like sleeping in, but we told her she could sleep in when she got back to Italy. Having both Chiara and Kaja here and getting to see them embrace the experience has been so rewarding.

One of the things I will always remember is when, just a few days in, I asked Chiara if her experience so far was what she expected. She answered, “Well, I didn’t really come here with expectations.” What an “a-ha” moment that was for me, who enters most situations with expectations and sometimes struggles when those expectations are not met. That was a huge life lesson that I have carried through this year and will continue to carry. All from an 18-year-old Italian that I was supposed to be sharing advice with.

Jackie

In addition to learning our American ways, Kaja also shared her culture with us. I enjoyed learning how to bake zopf, the Swiss bread. For World Communion Day, she offered us a German prayer and sang Silent Night in German for our Christmas Eve service—German is one of the official languages of Switzerland.

I loved watching the bond between Kaja and our family grow. She definitely achieved sister status quickly—some days all three kids got along great, and other days the sibling rivalry was intense. We had fun watching her show us up on the slopes with her extreme Swiss skiing skills over spring break, going on a first day hike at Garner State Park, RV camping and of course visiting the beach and my hometown of Corpus Christi. Also, I made her run a 5K on Thanksgiving morning—how American!

I will cherish the photographs that remind me of the moments that we’ll wish had lasted longer. It’s been such a special experience. I knew we could open our homes—that wasn’t ever the issue—but opening our hearts and our families to a stranger was a bit scary; if I’m being honest. But now, it’s almost scarier thinking how we look to a future where Kaja isn’t here and part of our daily lives. We spent this time of “firsts” with Kaja, but also “lasts” knowing this wasn’t forever. She’ll always be a part of our family, but it’s just going to be … different. I know my kids are going to miss their sweet Swiss sister and our Italian friend.

For more information on hosting an exchange student through ISE, contact Angel Puente at [email protected].

Meet Kaja
From Seengen, Switzerland

Tell us about yourself.
I’m from a small town in Switzerland—about 4,500 people. I live near a lake, so in summer, I go to that lake a lot with my friends. I’m also part of a sport group (in Switzerland, sport groups belong to towns instead of schools). I also really like skiing, but I can only do that in winter, because we don’t have snow all year. I go to a school about 20 minutes away from my town, but because I can’t drive yet, I travel there by train and bus. It takes me about 40 minutes to get there.

What was your favorite thing to share with your host family or new friends?
The best part is telling [everyone] things they don’t know about. I love showing them food, but unfortunately I can’t cook or bake very good… I also love showing them Swiss music!

What was your favorite thing about American high school?
I love that there is always so much going on because of [the] sports! It was great for me, because that’s where I met my friends.

What was the biggest difference between your school back home and your school in America?
In school in Switzerland, we can’t choose our classes. We also only have one “class,” so about 20 people we go to every period with and it’s always the same people.

What will you miss the most about America?
My host family and my friends! And just being here—like going to the games and being part of Hondo’s everyday life.

What would you tell other families interested in hosting an exchange student?
I think it’s an experience for everyone and they’d learn a lot about other countries too, but maybe that’s wrong. But it would definitely change the family’s everyday life!

Meet Chiara
From Aprilia, Italy

Tell us about your hometown.
The town I’m from is a big town. There are different schools you can attend after middle school that focus on different subjects like languages, science, math, human body, electronics or hairdresser. We always go out during the weekend, and we usually just walk around town or we go to the movies. When the weather starts warming up we go to the beach a lot.

What was your favorite thing to share with your host family or new friends?
My favorite thing I got to share was probably how life works in Italy and all the food I brought from there.

What was your favorite thing about American high school?
My favorite things I have to say is sports during school, the relationship between the teachers and the students, and all the choices you have when you choose the classes you want to attend.

What was your least favorite thing about American high school?
Probably having to do homework late at night or while going out of town because you don’t really have much time when you’re playing a sport or you’re involved in other activities.

What will you miss the most about America?
All the friends I made here, my host family, the school and sports in school, and also some of the fast foods.

What would you tell other families interested in hosting an exchange student?
Sometimes it can be challenging but you’re making their dreams come true and they will forever be grateful about this.