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My Singing Is So Bad …

Here are the many ways readers finished this sentence

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No one would ever believe that my name is Melodie.
Melodie Greider, Pedernales EC | Dripping Springs

My fifth grade teacher asked me to just move my lips when my class sang to the PTA.
Gary Galloway, Tri-County EC | Weatherford

In church my granddaughter said, “No sing, Granny.”
Ann Moseley, Guadalupe Valley EC | Shiner

My own mother, a music teacher, said, “Some people just shouldn’t sing and, son, you are one of them.”
Perry Jefferies, Hamilton County EC | Gatesville

I can’t carry a tune in a bucket.
Terry Holderness McAdams, United Cooperative Services | Granbury

My dog covers her ears.
John Bratton Sr., Bandera EC | Boerne

My neighbor called 911 because he thought I was in pain.
Anthony Murphy, Trinity Valley EC | Heartland

Our cows stop grazing and stare at me.
Phyllis Suttle, MidSouth EC | Iola

I couldn’t carry a tune with a forklift.
Jay Weber, Pedernales EC | San Marcos

My dog moved to an animal rescue kennel.
Ralph Jones, United Cooperative Services | Morgan

In second grade the music teacher was a family friend. She gave me a D in music on my report card. I cried to my mom, “I don’t understand. I sang louder than anyone else in class.”
John Lawson, Guadalupe Valley EC | Schertz

The dog will howl, which improves the sound.
Cindy Jones, United Cooperative Services | Granbury

Someone once told me, “I used to wish that I could sing. Now I wish you could.”
Jerry Brewer, Navasota Valley EC | Franklin

I can’t hold a tune in a wheelbarrow.
Lisa Althaus, Central Texas EC | Fredericksburg

My students used to beg me to scrape my fingernails on the blackboard instead.
Hoby Rather, South Plains EC | Lubbock

My senior year at Coronado High School in Lubbock, they shut down the school thinking it was the tornado warning system.
Tommy Novak, South Plains EC | Shallowater

The cats throw shoes at me.
Mark Browning, Sam Houston EC | Goodrich

When I rocked my toddler to sleep at night, he would say, “Mama, don’t sing.”
Barbara B. Baker, CoServ | Allen

I always told anyone sitting in front of me in church that they were sitting in the sacrificial seat.
George B. Birtchet, HILCO EC | Midlothian

I’m asked to sing solo—so low they can’t hear me.
Shaler Wells, Pedernales EC | Round Rock

It makes dogs bark and babies cry. (But they both love my whistling.)
Jacqueline Kinghorn | Via Facebook

Even the mockingbirds refuse to mimic it.
Fred Pfaff, Pedernales EC | Granite Shoals

My pastor pays me not to sing in the choir.
Sherry Gunn | Via Facebook

Even the shower keeps running.
Teresa Wiist, Rusk County EC | Carthage

When I sing in the shower, the water stops running.
Red Fuselier, Panola-Harrison EC | Waskom

The shower won’t let me in.
Paul Leatherwood, J-A-C EC | Jacksboro

I get heckled when singing in the shower.
Diron Mills, United Cooperative Services | Glen Rose

It melted the shower curtain.
Sherri Radford, Jackson EC | Markham

I sing so low (solo).
Betty Heffler, Houston County EC | Crockett

I ought to be on stage—the next one leaving town.
Mark Lindsay, Hamilton County EC | Priddy

The seagulls flew off, and the waves stopped coming in.
C.D. Jenkins, Fayette EC | La Grange

My 3-year-old begged, “Mom, please! Can we turn on the radio and listen to some real music?”
Linda K. Carter, Wise EC | Decatur

The mockingbird flies away.
Julian Garza, Nueces EC | Corpus Christi

I sound like a dying calf in a hailstorm.
Jack and Deb Smetzer, Pedernales EC | Liberty Hill

A tomcat thought I was flirting with him.
Phyllis Eriksen, San Bernard and Rio Grande ECs | Cat Spring

When our son was 2, he told me he could fall asleep faster if I didn’t sing to him.
Lynn Miller, PenTex Energy | Gainesville

The birds cover their ears.
Pam Alfred, Houston County EC | Kennard

My elementary choir teacher said, “Next.”
Gary Crouch, Fort Belknap EC | Newcastle

The frogs quit croaking.
Roland Contreras, Bluebonnet EC | Burton

It stampedes the cattle in three surrounding counties.
Kathryn Sullivan, Bandera EC | Pipe Creek

The neighbors thought I bought bagpipes.
Dayne Choate, Pedernales EC | Cedar Park

People in church turn around just to see who is making that horrible sound.
Sunny West, Tri-County EC | Fort Worth

The house cats are trying to cover up the speakers.
Bill Russell, Lyntegar EC | Brownfield

If I’d been at the Alamo, Santa Anna and his men would have retreated just to keep from hearing it.
Barbara Staehle, Big Country EC | Fluvanna

I play the radio.
Rick Graff, Wharton County EC | El Campo

When my children were young, they begged me to stop singing lullabies to them. They would put their tiny hand over my mouth to stop me.
Jamie Massa, Deep East Texas EC | Fairmount

It can wake up the devil.
Barry Stevens, Pedernales EC | Georgetown

Even God will plug his ears when he issues this old lady wings.
Margaret Herring, Tri-County EC | Knox City

The Mormon Tabernacle Choir has banned me from Utah.
Star Carey, Pedernales EC | Canyon Lake

I was kicked out of the youth choir at church.
Lisa Rosa, Wood County EC | Quitman

The notes run and hide.
Merle Raymond, Pedernales EC | Spring Branch

My voice will crackle and fall, but my shower still loves it, in spite of it all.
Allen Linderman, Nueces EC | Corpus Christi

In college, during a campuswide “spring sing,” my best friend and I were assigned to be “mouthers”—required to appear onstage and lip-sync but not permitted to utter a sound.
Dan Siculan, Farmers EC | Royse City

Migratory songbirds keep on flying north.
Lisa Holloway Fitzsimmons | Via Facebook

But give me a fiddle and I’ll take it to the roof.
Maria C. Morales, Magic Valley EC | Edinburg

The dog digs a hole to bury his head.
Clayton E. Benignus | Via Facebook

My 5-year-old granddaughter said, “You don’t have to sing, Nana.”
Rachelle Ainsworth, Heart of Texas EC | Rosebud

My church considers me not joining the choir to be classified as a large donation.
Jerome Schwertner, South Plains EC | Slaton

They turn off the mic when I am lead singing at church.
Sig Rosier, Bryan Texas Utilities | Bryan